A radicalized Polar Bear was reported terrorizing Santa Claus' factory at the North Pole, and apparently there are lots of them terrorizing the North Pole Santa Claus LLC Head Quarters, and this was hardly the first time. You see, they were promised warmer weather by the Global Warming Alarmists, and so they've been having more offspring, now there are too many Polar Bears in the region and they are running out of seals to eat, so, they are looking for some more tasty morsels; Elves.

Although, Santa's elves are only bite size and really only good for one Polar Bear lunch, they seem to be quite tasty. Unfortunately, it has been causing huge delays at the factory making toys, because all the elves are stressed out and filing for workers compensation. Meanwhile a production Six Sigma Specialist has calculated that even with the most efficient refinements in the Finite Capacity Scheduling Modeling, there is no way they can maintain the needed quality and keep up the quantity needed to fulfill all the orders for this year's Christmas.

Now the Polar Bears are really angry with no more food supply, and they've been breaking into the warehouses at night, stealing the toys, and trading them to the Eskimos at the local village for fresh Sushi. This has caused even a bigger crisis and the loss-prevention specialist just cannot secure the area from these giant white terrorist bears. Worse, the bears are now suing because they are saying that Santa Claus LLC executives are racists against White Polar Bears and Species'ists too.

They are demanding a huge settlement, and so, "the company had to file bankruptcy because it can no longer make a profit with all the terrorist attacks, lawsuits, union challenges, and workman's compensation insurance increased premium costs," said the corporation's head counsel and attorney.


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