The Dallas Cowboys, coming off their crushing playoff loss to the New York Giants in the NFL Playoffs, have announced a prime-time series based on the team to be televised on Fox this off-season. Following is a list of the top 10 characters to be on this prime-time soap opera. The show, aptly named, "Unlikable People Creating Horrible Karma," is the centerpiece of the new Fox season.

#1-Tony Romo, character name "Jinx." Jinx will be known for his ability to melt down in various ways when times get tough. Slippery footballs, weekend trips to Mexico with Jessica Simpson and throwdowns with T.O. will all be part of the drama.

#2-Jessica Simpson, character name "Minx." Minx will throw the Cowboys chemistry upside down by dating Jinx, taking him to Mexico when the team needs him most, and causing all kinds of drama.

#3-T.O., character name "Diva 81." Diva 81 will bring 'da drama on a weekly basis. His needy, almost effeminate desire to be loved and adored will be felt from the first episode. His crying outbursts from Jinx dating hot pop stars and stealing headlines will be on full display. Wait, I mean crying outbursts from the team losing and him caring so much.

#4-Britney Spears, character name "What The Hell Happened?" What The Hell Happened will provide the attempted love triangle between her, Jinx and Minx. What the hell happened will be a former child star with a mess of issues.

#5-Bill Parcells, character name "Big Bill." Deep in the heart of Texas sits Jerry Jones' mortal enemy, Big Bill. Bill will be the competing football man that comes back to take revenge on Jerry Jones (or J.J. as he will be known) and the 'Boys.

#6-Jimmy Johnson, character name "Hair Guy." Hair Guy will be known as the old, lovable ex-coach that led the Cowboys to their past glory. His legendary sense of hair care sensibilities and hair care product knowledge will be focused on.

#7-Bill Belichick, character name "Homeless Coach." A mysterious, homeless-looking man who wears torn garments, Homeless Coach is befriended by Big Bill to run the competing team in town.

#8-Shaq, character name "The Big Guest Star." It wouldn't be drama without The Big Guest Star. Dallas will be rocked by The Big Guest Star, as the basketball phenom whose dream it is to be the best Punter in the world.

#9-Wade Philips, character name "No Playoff Wins." No Playoff Wins is the lovable Coach who couldn't shoot straight. His firing is coming, but until then, he will try his best to lead the Cowboys on the field.

#10-Jerry Jones, character name "J.J." The head honcho of the Dallas Cowboys, J.J., much like his predecessor, J.R., will run the show and be the law of the Cowboys. Big ego and small results lately have made J.J. quite ornery. Watch the sparks fly as he, Jinx, Diva 81 and company come your way this season on Fox.