"Sherm the Worm does not Squirm"

Act One

Sherman, at eleven years of age, sometimes finds himself backed into a corner by larger, less intelligent children. One day, two bullies trap him on the playground and try to ruffle his feathers. Sherman remains calm.

Duke : Hey, Sherman, do you want to eat some worms? (Duke has an evil grin on his face. He obviously enjoys picking on smaller people. Little does he know . . . .)

Jorge: Yeah, huh huh. Sherm the Worm, huh huh.

Sherman: Don't call me that.

Duke: I got some worms in my pocket, just for you.

Sherman: That's okay. Your pocket is a good place for those worms. Are you sure they're not all squishy?

Duke: (looking down at his pocket): Huh? No, they're okay.

Jorge: Don't call you what?

Sherman: Don't call me Sherm the Worm. So, anyway, what kind of worms've you got in your pocket there, Duke? Are they red wrigglers or tropical nightcrawlers?

Jorge: Yeah, Duke, whaddaya got? Them red things he said or the troppie --- what?

Sherman: Tropical nightcrawlers.

Jorge: What's that? (Despite being rather dim, Jorge is a curious kid.)

Sherman: Well, it's a kind of earthworm, if you really need to know. And say, Duke, do you have any soil in that pocket along with those worms?

Duke: I just got worms in my pocket, that's all. There ain't no dirt in there, too. Why would I wanna put dirt in my pocket?

Act Two

Sherman: Why would you want to put worms in your pocket? But never mind. You see, earthworms like dirt, and dirt likes earthworms. They have a symbiotic relationship. Earthworms are important for helping dirt stay healthy so that your mother's garden can stay green.

Jorge: What's a symbi --- symbo --- relationship?

Sherman: Well, a symbiotic relationship is when two different parties mutually benefit one another.

Duke: Hey, wait a minute, what did you say about my mom? (Duke looks upset, his face is red and his eyes are popping out. He's very sensitive about his mother. However, Sherman easily distracts Duke from his anger.)

Sherman: Hey, Duke, it looks like those worms have crawled out of your pocket and gotten into your body somehow. You don't have, like, a hole in your pocket or something, do you?

Jorge & Duke: Huh?

Sherman: Yeah, it looks like there's a red wriggler crawling out your nose. Here, let me get it for you. (Sherman is very quick, having studied various ancient martial arts beginning at the age of two. He steps forward, inserts his right pinky into Duke's left nostril, and lifts upward while simultaneously placing his right instep against the bigger lad's right knee and pushing down at a angle. Duke hits the ground and his eyes start to water. Jorge starts laughing.)

Jorge: Hey, Duke, are you crying?

Duke: Ow, that hurts! Shut up, Jorge, or I'm gonna punch you out!

Jorge: Oh, yeah, like, I'm scared. (Jorge begins to follow as Sherman saunters off.) Hey, Sherm, tell me more about that garden stuff, and about the worms.

Sherman: Well, maybe next time, Jorge. Right now, why don't you help Duke there. (Duke is rolling around on the ground, holding his nose with one hand and his knee with the other. Jorge stands there with his mouth hanging open and his hands hanging at his sides, looking back and forth between Duke moaning on the ground and Sherman strolling away down the street.)