Just think how much money you could save by sleeping in a tree! There would, of course, be some difficulties. Because of the difficulties other consequences could occur.

The first of these difficulties that comes to my mind is
a lack of bathroom facilities. If it didn't rain or the tree was not near a body of water, body cleansing would be a real problem and, if working, your employer would not appreciate your personal cleanliness habits (assuming your employer is not aware of your living conditions). You could even lose your job!

The next convenience which would be missing is electricity. No alarm clock to wake you; no coffee maker to get you going; only a battery operated shaver; poor lighting at best; no hot water. Yes, there are battery operated appliances but they do not have the longevity or reliability of piped in electricity.

Your closet to hang your clothes would be a small tree limb that the crook of the hangar would fit over. That presents another problem . . when it rains your clothes would get wet and it's time consuming attempting to put on wet clothes, especially in a tree. Drawers? The only ones you would have would be the ones you put on your body. Tree bark, twigs and leaves make for itchy underwear. Your shoes might be full when you are ready to put them on.

You would have plenty of neighbors; squirrels, birds, maybe a coon or a bear. Might even have a conversation with a bat as you are drifting off to sleep. In some locales, a snake might slither over you during the night or the howl of coyotes and other critters may cause insomnia.

There is a possibility you may have to share your quarters with bees and they are pretty aggressive . .don't want to be disturbed lest they sting. Ants like trees too.

Most trees do not follow the contour of the human body. To stretch out in a sleeping position would probably be impossible. You may end up having to seek the services of a chiropractor with ailments such as bad back and crooks in the neck.

Items like milk, ingredients for salad, fresh meat would not be included in your diet because of a lack of refrigeration. Besides, fresh meat would definitely draw critters to your home. Well, you could include fresh meat in your diet if you are willing to eat it raw. Of course this has complications like salmonella, etc. Warm beer would give you a better buzz! More buck for your money! Forget frozen items.

Most women would not be impressed with your Tarzan-like living conditions. The lack of the "couch in front of the TV" to do a little snuggling would be a turn off. Serving warm beer or mixed drinks would also not be welcomed. Believe me when I say, unless she was super nature oriented, she would not consider a live-in arrangement. If you prefer to stay single this would be an ideal way to do it.

Every time you would leave your home would mean climbing down and arriving, would mean climbing up. A result from this would be soiled and ripped clothing so you might have to increase your clothing budget accordingly. Another consequence could be a fall which could send you to the hospital. More often in darkness, there could be a critter waiting at the base of the tree for you.

In closing, I would not want to sleep in a tree. Climbing a tree to sing would be OK or just for fun, although dangerous, but sleeping, never! Give me all the conveniences of my man-built home! I am happy living just the way I am!

Norine Peardon, August 30, 2008




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