You're about to leave for a special event, and your spouse is clawing through her closet crying "I don't have anything to wear!" Now you know full well that there's enough fabric in that closet to resurface Central Park, so what do you do? You want to sympathize with her, but the old Visa card just can't take another hit. Here is the universal solution to this problem, and once deployed, will guarantee that you'll never have to endure a similar complaint again: start wearing uniforms.

"Think of the advantages, honey," you announce, "we won't spend another second deciding what to wear in the morning!" This idea didn't originate with me; the military has been using it from the beginning of time. Private schools do it, and even some corporations. So why not a "family uniform"?

I actually know a very brilliant fellow who did this many years ago (I'll have to check if he's continued this habit as he's remarried now). All you do is find a neural color combination that you'll be happy with, choose a style of top (button-shirt, t-shirt, or golf shirt) and you buy several copies of them.

Once you have them hanging in your closet, then the dilemma of what to wear magically disappears. Just think of it, strolling through the mall will never include gawking and pining over those new arrivals. And in time, you'll stop caring what the neighbors think about your new attire.

Will I ever start wearing a uniform? Not as long as my family has any say in it, but it's a great comeback for those constant clothing complaints. This is the problem with being a practical and objective person, my only hope is that my spouse never questions me about my need for a new computer every two years or so... but that's different, right?


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