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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Single on Valentine's Day - No Survival Guide Necessary!

It seems once Valentine's Day draws near, every website on the world wide web starts throwing around "single person survival guides." As a single person, I find this to be a ludicrous practice. A survival guide? Really, a "survival guide??" This is supposed to help? Survival guides are for desperate people lost in the wilderness, starving, freezing, and hunted by bears or zombies. Apparently that's what me and my single brethren are to the non-single world: the metaphorical equivalent of Ash from the movie, "The Evil Dead" Of course, even Ash found love in "Army of Darkness."

I have no problem with Valentine's Day. It is a fine day for people who love each other to take time out to celebrate that love. You may be one of those people who say, "you shouldn't need one day to be romantic, you should do it every day of the year." Come on, be serious. Everyday, you should also show your mother and father you love them, show thanks for everything you have, celebrate your religion, appreciate your freedom, honor those who fought for us in the past, and respect the people who work for you. But I don't hear people clamoring to eliminate Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Independence Day, Veterans and Memorial Day, and Administrative Professional's Day (formerly Secretary's Day). And for you cynical folk buying into urban myths, Hallmark did not invent Valentine's Day. They just took something someone else invented and turned it into a cash cow. Kind of like Vanilla Ice did when he "borrowed" the guitar riff from Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure." Yes, I just likened Hallmark to Vanilla Ice. I wonder if Hallmark makes a greeting card for that...

If we eliminated all holidays that honor things we should be doing anyway, wouldn't we be left with a bunch of useless holidays? Like Groundhog's Day? Though to be fair, Groundhog's Day does have the huge value of guaranteeing that some TV station will run the movie "Groundhog Day," which is a reason to celebrate in and of itself. But I digress...

Valentine's Day is a fine way for couples to celebrate, but implying that single folk need a "survival guide" is just ludicrous. It actually makes things worse. Rather than just happily going about our business around this time of year, we are constantly reminded of our singleness. It's like the guy who breaks your leg and then sells you crutches. "Hey thanks buddy for solving a problem I didn't have until you created it..."

The sad thing is that single folk buy into this. I used to get down on the Valentine's Days that I was single. "Woe is me! Why is everyone else in love but me?" I even used to throw "anti-Valentine's Day" parties where single people would get together and watch the most unromantic movies possible, like "Firestorm" with Howie Long.

(The absolute best "anti-Valentine's Day" party I ever had was when me and about 8 single guy buddies got together and watched a WWE pay-per-view. Nothing says, "We don't need women" like watching 3 solid hours of half naked men beating each other up. But I digress...)

Then there came a Valentine's Day where all of my friends were either dating or out of town. I felt a sense of dread creeping up, like the feeling you get when someone leaves you a voicemail that just says, "Give me a call, we need to talk." I was going to be single and alone on Valentine's Day! Oh no! Fortunately, I had a moment of clarity and thought back to the great words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "No on can make you feel small without your consent." By celebrating "Anti-Valentine's Day" I was just giving power and significance to it. The better approach was to just ignore it. It's similar to dealing with Paris Hilton; if we would all just stop paying attention, she would go away.

And that's been the case ever since. No more parties, no more depression. In this way, Valentine's Day is like any other day. I plan to get up, do some work, make some people laugh, have fun, and go to sleep just tickled pink with who I am and what I am up to (and yes, I realize the irony of telling you I am ignoring Valentine's Day in an article written about Valentine's Day, so don't bother pointing it out to me...).

You want a real survival guide? Here it is: If something is bothering you, you have two options; do something about it or let it go. Obsessing over the issue for a full day (plus the one-month build up), congregating with the girls to watch romantic movies, going out with the guys to get drunk, or sitting home alone feeling sorry for yourself does neither.

This is true for more than just Valentine's Day. Whether it's about money, career, relationships, family, activities, health, or anything at all, you have two options: do something or let it go. Everything else is just whining...

Avish Parashar is a dynamic keynote speaker who uses Improv Comedy to show organizations and individuals how to quickly make the most of whatever life throws at them. He weaves together humorous stories, witty observations, and interactive exercises from improvisational comedy to get people laughing, learning, and motivated!