A recent study of users of internet lifestyles replacement sites showed that over 23% of Facebook users were dead or in a state of undead ness often referred to as Zombies, or romerus morbis brainicus. The first clue was compiled by Miss Sandra Fretting from the US Census bureau, who noticed Facebook's cancellations brought on by mortality, or the extreme lack of it, were non-existent. Either Facebook had cured cancer, or something was amiss.

A probe by the Secretary of Commerce revealed that when a Facebook subscriber dies, their account is left active, thus allowing retailers to finally access the undead demographic, long sought by commercial brain harvesters and hog farmers. In addition, American Apparel has introduced a line of pre-tattered clothes for the Zombie on the go.

The number of zombies versus the entirely dead is unknown. In addition, many users have simply stopped participating, though still alive. But in the last twenty four hours, 3,789 people have died in this nation. How many were Facebook users? And will they rise from the grave to play Farmville again!

A local funeral service has extended it's services to cove their Facebook aspect of the after life, hosting and holding services for friends online and live. Special Groups are formed by the Mortuary to share memories of the departed. "This helps us take our sorrow to a place where it will exist forever. And that's what good service is all about, eternal suffering! At least, that's what Jesus said." The son of God could not be reached for comment.



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