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Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Dose of Texas Humor For You

Everyone requires a little bit of humor to spice up life. Life without humor is dull and worthless. A good dose of Texas humor is everything you need to make life's idiosyncrasies and challenges trivial and unmoving. Here are perfect examples of Texas humor that could put a smile or two on your lips.

1. Texas farmers harvest freshly boiled potatoes. The weather is so hot the potatoes cook right in the soil!
2. Women in Texas attend formal dinners wearing their finest jewelry, sleek nightgown, and a pair of leather cowboy boots.
3. Texas humor says Texans don't speak in accents. You just can't understand the Texan language.
4. It is only during winter that Texans get to use their air conditioning system. It's because during summertime, the sun is so hot no amount of cooling can make it go away.
5. In Texas summers are so hot and dry that trees beg dogs for a pee.
6. Taxidermy is Texas' most honorable profession.
7. Deer meat is the staple food in Texas. Give it a cook and he can make more than 10 meals with it.
8. It is okay to shoot a Texan who says he is vegetarian with a straight face.
9. Texas follows an entirely different set of traffic rules. You need to unlearn everything you know.
10. Texas humor says that Texas is an entirely different country. Not true. Going to Texas doesn't require a visa. A vision is more like it.
11. Drink beer in Texas bars covering the bottle's label with your fingers. Failure to do so means trouble because you're not being polite.
12. TV is the best form of entertainment in Texas. Nobody would dare miss Saturday Night Live on TV.
13. Church is the normal destination during Sunday mornings. Only in Texas you can see a pastor wearing a pair of boots while giving a sermon.
14. If you like to ask something to a Texan, make sure your question ends in a proposition or you won't get an answer.
15. To drive in Texas in July, you have to start learning how to use the steering wheel with only two fingers. The weather is so hot you can't hold the entire steering wheel even if your life depends on it.
16. To understand Texan English, you need learn the Spanish language first.

Texas humor will always be a reminder to everyone that the people in Texas have a fun-loving nature. The funny statements appearing in here are compiled without the intention of offending the Texans. They are here to serve as a jolt in an otherwise lonely day.

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