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Friday, August 8, 2008

The Judas Manual

Our recent history has accumulated a record of botched initiatives, uncertain situations and tragic episodes that have led the United States into the road to decadence, universal scorn and national misery. It must be admitted that those responsible took advantage of the ignorance and naiveté of a good half of the American people in order to get elected not once but twice!

As we come to the end of this fateful period, we begin to notice the appearance of what can best be called home grown Judases that prey on their protectors, friends and associates in the administration and regency of the realm. They can not be stopped; those who pursue the role are doing what some one did a couple of thousand years ago and forever instituted the Judas process. They follow the process for the same reasons; the notable difference is that instead of a few Roman coins, they expect a few million dollars, or Euros if you wish.

Not everyone can become a Judas. It is easy to become a tattletale, a stabber in the back, a gossip bug or a rabble rouser but to earn the Judas label demands a strong capacity to overcome the nagging of a conscience and the ability to disregard any scruples that might appear uninvited. The process of transformation into a certified Judas is based on love. Yes, love for your fellow man or woman. The Judas essence is deeply encased in a kind of love that is professed and cherished.

The fellow who patented the Judas process was a man who loved his Master to the limits of adoration. His love was acknowledged and returned. It was the perfect scenario for the application of the tools of the Judas process. Among these, he used a combination of betrayal, falsehood, personal ambition and cruelty.

The Judas process has been in use since the day in that remote cave when Blorg said to his cousin and good friend Ungho not to worry about the cave and go on an extended hunting trip; he would gather the wood, get some cans of sardines and protect Erwina, Ungho's lovely wife from the lascivious advances of the neighbors..

Upon his return, Ungho found that his cousin and dear friend had consummated an intense relationship with Erwina while he was away and, further, had taken possession of the cave as his own. They would not let Ungho enter the cave, not even to collect his credit cards and laptop. Ungho was devastated and appealed to the Cave Master who, upon listening to Erwina and Blorg ruled in their favor, a decision that was discreetly aided by the stack of pelts and the finely carved bat that Ungho presented to him. That episode had all the drama of Shakespearian two act plays. It illustrates the fact that wherever there is accumulated power there will be love and admiration and nine times out of ten, the Judas process will make its appearance.

So, how can you become a good Judas?

Dear reader: Here I was about to go into a lengthy description of the technicalities of the Judas process, but my editor disagreed strongly. "Everyone knows what a Judas does! Why rub it in? Just finish the darned thing and let us move on to something else! What do we pay you for?"

So I close now but wish to remind you that my next book deals with intransigent editors who date fashion designers and spend week ends in places like Cleveland and Mobile, Alabama!

Chemical engineer by training, international executive by merit and writer by addiction. Former syndicated columnist of Technology columns, has written for television and movies. His humorous articles contain fine satire and have been published in 4 languages.

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