Isn't it absolutely fantastic that you can sit in the comfort of your own home, and wirelessly, from a foreign country many thousands of miles away, download within seconds a vicious virus that wipes your hard drive and puts up a message "Igor did rock..." on your screen. Ah yes, technology has brought us far.

No longer is there the long wait by your postbox, hoping for that letter from a loved one, or that check that's always in the mail. Now we have the blessing of getting 463 emails a day from kind people that we don't even know! And all they want to do is help us! We can enlarge parts of our bodies, get free money from Africa, become a doctor of physics without even studying, and become filthy rich just by watching one DVD which they will supply at a massive discount. Gracious, what nice people.

Even more amazing is the new fangled video phone calls, where the chap on the other side can see you while you are talking to him, on the other side of the world. And if you forget to cut the connection, an hour later the world can also see you kicking the dog while in your underwear. Isn't it fascinating how fast those type of video things get onto YouTube and the national news.

Now there's broadband too. It seems that this was invented in order to drain your bank account at a faster rate than the old dialup system. All you have to do is download the movie "Gone with the wind" and see how this title applies to your savings.

A nice thing to have is an "always on" connection. This connection is always on unless it's off. While it's on, it's always on, and when it's off, it's always off. Maybe they should have called it a "usually on and always slow" connection.

Facebook is a nice way to connect with old friends that you hoped you would never see again, and it also is an easy way to get your name and ID available to the Russian mafia. Apparently their interpretation of "Social Networking" is somewaht different to ours - our meaning was probably lost in translation. The IRS like it as well. Makes tracing defaulters nice and easy for them.

The search engines are strange things. Needed a little picture of a baby for a baby shower card the other day, so typed "babe" into Google and searched for images. The babes that appeared to answer this search burnt my eyebrows off and set the curtains on fire. Now after my fourth week of therapy I'm starting to feel a bit better.

There are lots of challenges when you have internet access. It really keeps the memory active, having to remember 49 passwords and usernames, with letters, numbers, funny symbols and so on. And when people write you a letter, they expect a reply today, so it keeps us active and productive. None of this waiting til Saturday business.



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