The Professor was mad at me. We had agreed to meet at 8 pm to sign an important agreement. My delay led to postponement of the meeting.

"What in heaven's name happened to you?"

It was a mild reproach that nevertheless made me feel bad and reconfirmed my reluctance to have dinner with my TV producer friend who insisted on having the infernal screen on during the meal. Instead of serving dinner at a decent hour as he and his wife usually do, this time they had an important guest other than me. It was the usual mogul whose generous pockets would shortly finance one of my friend's TV ventures.

The meal was not bad except that the screen showed in all its misery that popular program "Dancing with the Stars"! I could not think of an excuse drastic enough to get up off the table and rush into the evening traffic. I suffered in silence.

"What was so terrible about having the program Dancing with the Stars as dinner background? " Asked the Professor.

"Well, for one thing, dancing is the wrong term. When you have a couple of great athletes that seemingly have been starched inside and out ,that move in spasms, gyrations, stiff turns and sequences with a minimum of grace and beauty, no great meal is going to reduce the pain and revulsion."

"Tell me more' he urged.

"Dance is or should be a blend of rhythm, beauty and music, not a gymnastic exhibition performed by dummies who believe that keeping a robot attitude, a stiff back and an artificial sense of coordinated motion, they are performing a dance!"

I paused for a moment and then declared:

"Our next president would do well to forbid these spectacles to take place. They are anti-American, attempt against the laws of inertial navigation, erode the sense of naturalness, equilibrium and grace of our youth and gives the US the image of a country that encourages its people to defy gravity and wear uncomfortable shoes!"

Chemical engineer by training, international executive by merit and writer by addiction. Former syndicated columnist of Technology columns, has written for television and movies. His humorous articles contain fine satire and have been published in 4 languages. Quote: "Love and smiles teach tolerance; days without either are days wasted"

Let's face it. We all love the Internet and its wealth of quick knowledge and information but it has also caused us all our fair share of misery.

Viruses have destroyed our hard drives, financial and sexual predators lay lurking in the shadows and everything else that could possibly be unpleasant is never more than a click of the mouse away.

So in order to not let the world of fast information get you down, it is important to stay in touch with your sense of humor, especially when you are stuck behind a computer all day. The daily frustrations of dealing with the Internet and computers can leave even the most pleasant of people in a fowl mood, so it's important for all of us to keep ourselves laughing out loud online.

One of the biggest reasons that more people are smiling behind their computer screens is the sudden mass influx of funny video file sharing sites. These sites allow any user from anywhere in the world log on and view real-time videos from all over the world.

They are usually organized in a manner that anyone can easily search for and find something of interest. For example, if you are a cat lover you would not have any difficulties busting a gut over some hilarious kitty videos. There is an abundance of websites and video sharing sites that specialize in home videos of cats doing what they do best; being hilarious.

The most common way for people to stumble upon these sites is through a recommendation from a friend. In the digital world, this can come from a variety of sources but is usually contained as a forward in an email, a reminder on a social networking site or even spoken in person.

The sheer wealth of funny information, especially pictures and videos is overwhelming. And it is definitely a buyers market because most of the funny information you find online comes at absolutely no cost.

The popularity of social networking sites has made finding solid humor much easier for many people. These sites allow users to post website addresses for funny pictures or videos that their friends can see. So if a few of your friends share the same sense of humor, then you can be in constant exchange of links to funny videos or other online content.

Although it is probably not the best idea to send funny forwards to your friends while on the job, many people are guilty of it. Nevertheless, receiving a funny email right in the middle of a stressful day can give you the boost you need to get through until five o'clock.

More and more these days we are holed up in front of our computers for longer and longer periods of time. We are interacting with each other less and most of us are certainly laughing a lot less.

As the old adage goes, laughter is the best medicine, and that still applies in a modern and ever-changing world.

So even though the Internet can be a frustrating world at some times, it offers the perfect market for soothing the nerves through humor. No matter what comedic styles you prefer, there is a guaranteed over-abundance just waiting to be found online.

Being an entertainer for all of my life, I have been driving for many years all over this great country and I have noticed that drivers of certain states have definite traits of their own that is individualistic to themselves. For example, everyone knows that in Florida the people drive extremely slow. That is their very own characteristic while New Yorkers drive like they are in a race.

Everything is a competition on the roads there. They might not always drive fast but if you try to pass them they speed up. It becomes a game. Pennsylvania drivers absolutely drive me nuts. I love the people there dearly but they can't drive a lick. They move slowly and they don't move over. If you have three lanes, they spread out and all drive the same speed, thus bringing traffic to a slow crawl. Thank God I don't have a gun in the van, that's all I can say. But let me write about what this article is really about...Driving In New Jersey!

Oh my God, where do I start? New Jersey has the most roadways and the most cars on those roadways per square mile than any other state in the union. I love this state, especially the Jersey Shore, and the people here are fun-loving terrific citizens but whoever built the roads here should be drawn and quartered, tarred and feathered... how about just shot. What a truly screwed up system of roadways. The Garden State Parkway is one of the most beautiful roads in the country but if you are driving north there may be an exit for a major road and if you are driving south there may not be an exit for the same road. This means you either have to make an illegal turn on the Parkway or drive to the next exit and turn around and come back. That might take you about an extra half hour out of your way. Nice planning guys!

The people of this fine state also love to rubberneck. What that means, in case you don't know the term, is that motorists will slow down or even stop to look at something happening on the side of the road. This could be an accident, someone changing a tire, someone fishing off a bridge, people talking on the shoulder, deer feeding or just someone peeing in the bushes. It doesn't matter what the reason is. Suffice it to say that everyone is so nosy.

By the way, if you are in North Jersey don't count on the road signs. They are either missing completely or have been turned in the wrong direction by kids, just to make your trip a little more enjoyable!

Now let me just state that I really respect and like the older generation and I truly appreciate what they have done for our country and what they have sacrificed to give us our freedoms but when it comes to driving most of them should not be anywhere near the road. I live down in Toms River and there are a lot of older people who are on the highways that shouldn't be. You never know what they are going to do out there and neither do they. They can be in the far left lane and suddenly decide to make a right hand turn into a strip mall. I guess at least they keep the rest of us on our toes but it is already an obstacle course out there and we don't need any more confusion. I think after a certain age everyone should be made to take a driving test again to see if they qualify. After all, we are dealing with people's lives and cars are potential weapons, especially in the wrong hands.

How about those fantastic jughandles? Who invented these brilliant abominations? You can't make a left turn in this state. If you want to go to a certain business on the other side of a road you are on you have to go to the light and go around the jughandle and then wait for the light. Then you cross over the highway and go around another jughandle and come to another light. You now are on the right side of the road of the business you originally wanted to get to but by the time you get there, it just might be closed. Sometimes it takes you about three or four lights just to get through them because the traffic gets so jammed up going around these things that you might as well pack a lunch if you intend on making this journey.

Now comes the best of the best of total screwups as far as planning Jersey Roads...The Traffic Circles. What were they thinking when they came up with these? I have seen so many people panic when they come in to these merry-go-rounds. No one seems to know who has the right of way in these things. Is it the people on the right coming into them or the people already driving in them? The funny part is watching people trying to get out of these perpetual motion roundabouts! It is a virtual 'Pin the Tail On the Donkey' for motorists. People get spun around in these circles and then come out the other end dizzy and disoriented. In Massachusetts they call them a Rotary but they cause the same chaos. Whatever the name they really should be called by what they are, 'How the hell do I get out of this?' I think if I had a concession stand on the side of the road I could charge money for this sort of entertainment. It might just be my next venture.

Anyway, driving around the country can be fun and very scenic but be aware of the pitfalls you may encounter. Remember, if you are in New York be ready for a contest, if you are in Florida or Pennsylvania I hope you are not in a rush because they won't be and if you are in New Jersey be ready for the ride of your lives. Oh yes, and if you are in Connecticut be ready for construction delays. That states' roadways have been under construction for over 30 years now and the end doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. Whatever company has that contract has got job security to the max.

Well, it happened again, this time to my Cousin Nester who called us all up this morning to say that Jesus had appeared on the side of his garage - not in the flesh, or even in the vapor, but in a distorted image on wood apparently made from rust, sap, and an unidentifiable white substance most likely blamed on birds and the adjacent cherry tree. Nester didn't believe in Jesus but was willing to bet his lottery ticket that this was in fact the Holy of Holies who had taken residence above his trash cans, staring down with a look of disdain at the collection of assorted hubcaps and the discarded recliner bearing the imprint of Nester's butt.

Nester took this sighting to mean two things: the recliner should stay, and here was the new business opportunity he'd been waiting for. And with more ambition than he had shown in his combined forty-five years, he notified the press, alerted the neighbors, slapped up a sign that said "$10 to see Jesus," set up an EBay account, and put his son Dudley to work scraping pieces of wood off the side of the garage to sell to the highest bidders.

So if you walked past Nester's house this morning, that's why you saw all the cameras and the large gathering of curious faces cocked to the side in rapt attention, intent on getting their full ten dollar's worth. It was the first time Jesus had been sighted in their town (outside the stained-glass and shrink-wrapped variety and excluding the time Granny Jean mixed up her medications) so it was not something to be taken lightly. People gave it the piety deserving of a savior, no matter where they fell on the scale of belief, for even the most critical unbeliever figured it prudent to be respectful, just in case. They were all eager to speak about the miracle to the TV cameras shoved in their faces, happy to be asked about something other than a tornado or beauty pageant queen gone bad.

It was Vyrnetta who first brought into question the authenticity of this spiritual sighting, pointing out that she saw in a magazine that he was just spotted yesterday in a grilled cheese sandwich in Idaho and this magazine should know, being as they were the first to show pictures of J'Lo's babies. And Booker Diggs made a very good argument that while the image could be perceived as Jesus, it bore a more striking resemblance to Sonny Bono. And how come whenever images appeared like this, people immediately assumed it was Jesus? And if Jesus was coming back, why would he pick the side of the garage? Why would he pick that town for that matter? Good grief, they didn't even have a McDonald's. To which Mildred Jenkins pointed out that the first time he came it was as a carpenter born in a stable and nobody argued with Mildred who'd been teaching Sunday school since she was five.

Pastor Fern came over and dramatically announced that it couldn't be the real thing because sightings of this nature only appeared to those who attended church, Sunday school, and served on at least two committees. He was followed by Father Jim the Priest, who wasn't really a priest, but had started out to be one before he got a calling to go into country music, and he said that it couldn't be considered real until somebody sprinkled some holy water on it. Bitsy offered up some of the special tonic she carried in her purse that despite her protests smelled an awful lot like moonshine.

She said it was to help calm her nerves and that should count as holy because nothing could work a miracle like that stuff. Ernestine claimed that was downright blasphemy and didn't it just figure, coming from a Presbyterian. This resulted in a verbal assault on the Baptists, which resulted in a hit on two Methodists, four Mormons, and one suspected heathen, which opened the door for the other denominations present until no one was left unscathed. Bucky said this was a sure sign that they were all going to hell and he started confessing a list of sins that, while entertaining, were probably better left private. The Tucker twins were singing and throwing their hands up in the air hoping to signal up a revival when things turned from the verbal to the physical as Buster punched Nester and both of them fell back against the garage.

And in one fell swoop the Jesus image was gone - smeared like a child's finger painting which now looked more like Courtney Love. They all froze, pondering the ramifications of having erased Jesus. This couldn't be good. If his appearance was a sign - imagine what erasing him could mean. And they found themselves standing in a moment equivalent to that of a frat party when the keg's run dry.

And so they went their separate ways, some giving this Jesus thing a little more thought and others quickly distracted by the yard sale two doors down. It was Mildred Jenkins who stood there a little longer than everyone else, staring at the side of the garage and shaking her head at the mystery - not the mystery of a face made out of rust - but the mystery that so many would go to such great lengths to find him, when he's been right here all along.

Funny videos have become a hot and happening stuff among web surfers these days. Video sharing sites like You Tube, Big Think, Daily Motion or Google Videos are the central hubs for enthusiasts who desire real-life entertainment. These video sharing sites are earning huge popularity, especially amongst the younger age group. Creating these funny videos is not an easy task. This involves a lot of creativity to tickle the funny bone of the spectators.

Some of the key elements that go into the making of a successful funny video include:

a) Subject matter

b) Target audience

c) Planning and innovation

d) Attention to detail

Subject matter or plot is highly important to decide the success or failure of any form of art. Similarly, funny videos too demand a good plot to build upon the humor. A trifle plot can also evoke humor, but of the slapstick kind. A good plot with the support of solid humor not only serves the tastes of the common man but also of the intellectuals.

Another essential element to be kept in mind is the target audience of your funny videos. Creating a funny video that would cater to the tastes of every segment is almost next to impossible. Hence one should select the target audience prior to initiate shooting of the video. Audience under teens will certainly love silly and slapstick humor while the middle-aged section will prefer shrewd or intellectual humor.

Any work of art demands innovation to arouse the interests of the spectators. People do not enjoy watching similar stuffs again and again. A one-time super hit subject fails register popularity, if used in another video after a point of time. Hence variations are highly important to tie down the audience to their seats. Funny video creation also demands thoughtful planning. A funny video can either be an animation or a live action. Hence the subject matter of the video should match with the type of the video being produced.

Complete attention to every detail of the video is desired to make it a successful item across the online world. The script, actors, set, duration- all go into the making of popular funny videos or even funny commercials; just cook up these ingredients to serve a fun-filled funny video. Once your video starts being appreciated by a certain online group, it will certainly to be carried across the online world via viral effect.

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.
They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.
The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."

A fiberglass port-a-potty at Oshkosh with the message "I could have been a Glassair!" written on it?
"I would like to die in my sleep like my father did, not in screaming terror, like his passengers."
If God had meant man to fly, He would have given him more money or airplane tickets. "Gravity always wins!"
You know you´re flying a Cessna when you have a bird strike and it is from behind!
747 on final approach at 1000' off the deck. First Officer asks Captain "Are you happy with the position of the landing gear, sir?" Captain reaches down, lowers the gear and lands safely.
Lost Cessna Pilot: "Big airport with a little Cessna 150 overhead, please identify yourself!"
A Landing is just controlled mid-air collision with a planet.
"I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep"

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"