It's called parsing. It means that you cannot think of anyone or anything over 140 characters long. Each letter, number, punctuation point and space counts as a character. Twitter rules as well as destroys.

As you probably have heard around the coffee shop, Twitter is now being blamed for causing America to go mindless. Buy hey, come on, how can Twitter be responsible for the pre-Twitter status quo?

Blame is easy because Twitter is a newbie on the street corner of interactive Web 2.0 sites. One simply logs onto Twitter and it's free expression as long as it's 140 characters or less.

Now realistically it is not fair, though admittedly very convenient, to blame America's total lack of attention and focus on Twitter. It's not Twitter's fault this is an election year.

Twitter is simply software that just sits there until one enters their 140 characters or less, regardless of who is running for President.

But it's all worth it in the end because the Twitter community has a steady stream of new members; many of whom just might become your Followers. Followers are a type of fan and you are the Followed. So to speak or rather twitter.

The truth is, like many Web 2.0 unwritten "givens" if one Follows you, you should respectfully Follow them back.

Whether you actually do Follow or not is not really the point, it's Web 2.0 courtesy to respond in kind. Be nice or leave.

Of course one should morally Follow back out of courtesy so that more folks don't jump off the Golden Gate Bridge; imagine the trauma of Twitter rejection.

But just because one Follows, doesn't actually mean one follows, in Twitter terms of course.

There's no getting around it. How truly embarrassing when one goes back over the archives!

Some poor soul thinks they are carrying on some sort of dialogue with you and it's clear you are taking off wherever you wish totally ignoring them and everything else: my gosh, what must they all be thinking? Or rather, twittering?

Are they somehow subliminally twittering with me? One eventually starts to wonder: what is really going down here?

But whatever you do, don't lose control because you committed a downright ugly Twitter indiscretion. You know, something you are afraid might pop up on you-know-who's Google search.

But if you do sin, one of the Twitter strategies for covering up your indiscretion is simply moving on. Or in other words, bury it in the archives.

Twittering away with goofy and silly nonsense does wonders for burying the Twitter where you called your boss an infected scab. And worse.

But no worries, in the end Twitter is all so stylishly superficial anyway. If there is any Twitter style that has emerged, it is the cutesy superficial style.

That is probably because every California valley girl twitters night and day but of course that's how they talk as well as Twitter.

If you like Search, Twitter has a good search function but with billions of Twitters it's like getting 10,000 hits on a search.

And since so many Twitters are twatter, it's sort of like 'what's the point?' One can only assume some sort of alternative self therapy involved with these Twitter search freaks...

Which seems strange since the original idea was for your friends to know what you are thinking and doing every minute of the day.

It seems even stranger if you are married, but remember you too were once young and for some reason were once interested in those sorts of things.

Besides, how important can your thoughts while doing laundry really be?

The answer is not really important at all and that best describes the real strength of Twitter; it's artificial and not very important at all.

It's contrived except for those that already think in Twitter. So for those folks relatively speaking, they are twittering but really not in Twitter terms of course.

If it sounds too complex it's really not. Twittering requires only superficial usage of scattered parts of the brain and very quickly you will notice numerous Twitterers that do not express any sort of thought whatsoever.

They have a hope that someday a miracle will happen.

It's sort of like "hi, I'm here trying to think, not much yet in terms of results but will keep on trying and keep you posted or rather twittered should I actually think something."

That's because recent research showed some 87% of we Twitterers have less than a two second attention span.

Call it parsing or call it scatterbrained but the reality is a society hooked on Twitter and Sudoku is a society with way too much free time on its hands. And that spells big trouble.

But on the upside, even though we really aren't important, we can impress other unimportant people that we are in fact important because we Twitter.

In global terms, we should be thankful. Twitter is showing us a very important and revealing aspect of our humanity: a mind is not necessary for self expression. Or, as we say out here in California, "No es necessario!"

So go ahead, feel free to exercise your mindless self expression. Go ahead, Twitter me, I dare ya!

Jack Deal twitters under the avatar jackddeal as well as own JD Deal Local Search Marketing, Salinas and Santa Cruz, California 831-457-8806. Related articles, twitters, quotes, ideas, strategies, tactics and tips can be found at http://www.jddeal.com/blog/humor

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jack_Deal

Comic relief compliments of the U.S. government and former attorney general John Ashcroft during the senate congressional hearings and inquisition of corruption throughout the Bush administration.

Funny ...while catching up on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart concerning some hearings with gov't officials...these remarks came from former Attorney General John Ashcroft when he was questioned. Ashcroft replied:

"I must admit that its been difficult for me sometimes to distinguish between what I in fact recall as a matter of my own experience and what I remember from the accounts of others."

"Any statement I did or did not make, or would or would not make in a classified setting, I would not comment on."

"I can't answer a hypothetical about what the President might or might not have done."

"I don't have any recollection of an awareness of that."

"My communications with the President are privileged communications."

"I'm trying to think of all the reasons that are appropriate for met to refuse to answer that question."

What a beautiful thing it is when one is so educated and intellectually clever enough to be evasive, while obstructing the very justice system he was hired to uphold. This certainly gives the American people great confidence in the government and justice department that so quickly penalizes we the people for the smallest infraction, while obstructing justice themselves at the highest level and then denying all wrong doing without hesitation.

There's your comic relief for the day compliments of the U.S. government.

It's sad and unfortunate that the American people cannot even trust the highest judicial office in the land to be straight and forthright with we the people. Is it any wonder America has more criminals and people incarcerated than any nation on earth? We learned from the best, beginning with are governmentally appointed officials.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_Davis

Humor is everywhere that's for sure. Have you ever been on a bus and overheard what people are saying? It might not seem funny at the time, but if you rewind it in your mind I'm sure you will find something funny comes out it. It can seem infuriating at the time, but if you look back on it, it's really funny. I will give you a example: The person who stands at the bus stop. Now, this person gets the same bus every day, and goes the same distance every day, to the same destination every day. The person must stand at the stop for at least ten minutes before the bus actually appears. So what do they do every day? And I mean every day because I have witnessed this extraordinary behavior for days on end.

They get on the bus, and I'm talking a busy time of day when the bus and the roads are at there busiest, around about 8.15 in the morning when the bus is full of people going to work. The roads are busy, and its a horrible winters morning. You have been soaked, to the skin, just waiting on the bus. Then you get on and you need to stand because its packed full of people, you can't even get your newspaper out to read it, as there is not enough elbow room to even do that. Being that time in the morning, the bus keeps picking up people, until it is no longer possible to take any more passengers.

Then it gets to a certain stop, and I just know what's going to happen. The person gets on (and remember this person gets the same bus, every day to the same place, every day) and says the same thing " DRIVER, HOW MUCH IS IT INTO TOWN?" I mean, can you imagine the agitation on the bus. You can actually feel people spontaneously combusting with agitation as this person ruffles through their pockets to find the right change! You get the same bus every day, to the same destination, why in the name of the wee man have you not got the right change! YOU STOOD AT THE STOP FOR AT LEAST TEN MINUTES WAITING FOR THE BUS, so why have you not got the right change? Very agitating, but funny looking back at it.