GOOD NEWS! University of Chicago studies show a great sense of humor can add an additional 8 years to your life! Humor produces laughter. Laughter produces several positive effects on your physical, mental and emotional well-being. So, not only do you stand to increase the potential length of your life, but you certainly increase the quality and enjoyment of your life, if you have a great sense of humor.

But, how do you know if you have a great sense of humor, or not? Take a few minutes right now to evaluate some of your present humor habits.

1. Can you quickly recall a hilarious memory, or a most embarrassing moment?

2. Do you regularly like to hear or tell funny jokes and stories?

3. Do you catch yourself laughing and smiling several times a day?

4. Do you laugh at yourself easily?

5. When you try to be humorous, do others find you entertaining?

ANSWERING YES to questions 1 - 5 suggests you have a great sense of humor. Continue...

6. Do you reserve fun until after your work is done?

7 Are you over-sensitive when others tease you?

8. Do you reserve your sense of humor for certain people, places, or times?

9. Have you been told that you are too serious and need to lighten up?

10. Do you sometimes use sarcasm or put-downs in place of being direct?

ANSWERING YES to questions 6-10 could be signs of a great need to develop your sense of humor.

Which is it? Do you have a great sense of humor, or a great need to develop your sense of humor? Or both?

Do you wish you had a greater sense of humor, but don't know where to start with the daunting task of developing it? It's easy! You have just taken the first step by assessing a few of your humor habits and becoming aware of any areas you might like to improve.

The second step is simple, too. Just start looking and listening for the "funny" in your everyday ordinary life. Each time you bump up against a challenge, ask, "How could I use humor to lighten-up or diffuse this intense situation? Would this be funny if it was happening to someone else? Will I think this is funny later? Or use your imagination, "Wouldn't it have been funny if...?"

The third step is to find a "humor buddy" and regularly share your precious moments of humor with each other. Having a humor buddy helps both of you create a new humor habit.

A great sense of humor begins with a choice of attitude. Commit to look for at least one "funny" each day, and you will find it. Share it with your humor buddy. Before you know it, you will be surrounded by a greater sense of humor and equipped with the resilience you need to cope in those "not so funny" moments.

"Your sense of humor may or may not add years to your life; but it certainly will add life to your years." Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D. / Laughter Remedy

Lois McElravy, Lessons from Lois, works with individuals and organizations who want to learn how to effectively use humor, so they can handle the demands and pressures of work and home, maintain a flexible perspective, develop creative solutions, produce positive outcomes, and have more fun.

Learning to laugh and "hangin' on with humor" rescued Lois from the distress and despair surrounding her daily life, and initiated her recovery from a brain injury. Her universal message offers hope, motivates participants to be faithful to do the small things, and conquer their challenges one day at a time.

I've just put on a new pair of socks.

Wow, stop right there...that's enough excitement for one day I hear you say.
Perhaps you're right, but whilst I was putting on the socks I realized something.

When a sock is the "right way" out, the rough sticky-out bits where the stitching is on the INSIDE. Where you foot goes. Those little seam lines are in there waiting to get under or between your toes and make you suffer....sometimes its ok, they don't manage to get into the critical position.

But sometimes, when they know you can't stop to adjust them, they slip into place and every step hurts...it feels like there's a tiny pebble in your shoe, stabbing your foot with every stride.

This problem can easily be avoided by wearing the socks in the way that convention dictates is "inside out". Then your toes get the smooth, soft parts of the sock against them, and the nasty rough seam lines are on the outside, bothering your shoe instead of your foot. Mmm...comfy!

Presumably, the sock wearing convention is the way it is because we humans tend to like tidiness, and perhaps the sight of a sock with the seams sticking out annoys us on a primal, subconscious level.

But socks are almost always worn underneath shoes, so they can't be seen anyway. Usually, we only expose our socks in the privacy of our own homes, and there aesthetics are invariably left aside as we slob around in old track suit trousers and t-shirts stained with the memories of long-lost take-aways.

There's only one reasonable answer to this mystery.

The sock-wearing convention is a conspiracy designed to weaken the human spirit, to weaken our joy and sense of freedom, leaving us vulnerable to the pending attack by Galactic Overlord Xenu.You heard it here first folks!

Make a stand...make a comfy stand...wear your socks "inside out" today!

Are you looking for something to make you laugh on the Internet? If so then you will want to start surfing the web so you can find cartoon pictures online.

There are actually many websites that have amusing images and continually update their photos so you always have something that will add smile to your face. But, you may be wondering how you can go about finding cartoon images. The following tips will help you create a favorite's list of all the best websites with hilarious images.

Tip #1 Google It

The first thing you should always do when you are looking for something is to Google it. You will almost always find just what you are looking for. So, simply type "funny pictures" in Google and see what is returned.

Of course, if you are looking for specific types of funny pictures you need to add additional keywords to the search terms so you are sure to get what you want. For example, search for "funny pet pictures" or "funny kid pictures". The list really never ends and you can find many different kinds of pictures on the net that will enjoy wholeheartedly.

Tip #2 Forwards

You know all those forwards you receive every day that you simply delete? Well, if you like cartoon pictures that will make you laugh then you should open them. That is because many times forwards have cartoon pictures and things of that nature that will add a smile and you will laugh out loud.

So, definitely check out the forwards that come in your mailbox. Once you receive several cartoon picture forwards you may want to create your own email with all of them combined and begin forwarding it to people.

Tip #3 Forums

There are many forums on the Internet that specialize in hilarious things. These may include jokes, photos, and anything else that will make you laugh. If you really like seeing amusing photographs or anything that will make you smile then you should definitely check out the different forums on the net.

The easiest way to look for these forums or chats is to simply Google them. Open up your browser and type in "funny forums" or something of that nature and see what you get. You may be surprised at how many amusing forums are really out there!

When you look for amusing images on the Internet you will not have any problem finding them. All you need to do is put forth a little bit of effort and you will find just what you are looking for. It takes a little bit of time but if you are interested in finding comical things all you need to do is search the web and you will see plenty of things to which you will enjoy.

Start searching the web today to view all the amusing things that are just waiting for. You can definitely make your day better and put smiles on the faces of others by finding hilarious images on the Internet.

Have you ever seen a flying saucer? Well, Peggy, my sister, and I have, so therefore, we are believers.

We lived near Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri; a S.A.C. (Strategic Air Command) facility. They manned and operated some two hundred Minute Man Missile sites throughout Missouri. One such site was located in a field next to our house. We were used to the comings and goings of the Air Force personnel.

It began one summer day in the mid-1960's. I do not remember the exact year and it really does not matter. I heard what sounded like several airplanes flying overhead. This was not an unusual occurrence so I did not think anything of the noise.

My father came running into the house yelling at us to go outside and take a look. He rummaged through a drawer and found his binoculars. Peggy and I ran outside. Hovering overheard were four circular aircraft. They were very noisy. We were so excited. We were sure we were seeing UFO's (Unidentified Flying Objects). It was all the rage at that time to spot UFO's and there were many T.V. shows and books being written on the subject. We had proof. For some reason, my mother was never aware of what was going on and remained in the house.

Daddy made the big mistake of putting the strap of the binoculars around his neck, as this was his habit. Peggy and I nearly strangled him grabbing the binoculars for our turn to look at the UFO's. I do not remember seeing any markings on the UFOs. But they were at an altitude of about five hundred feet and we really were not looking for any type of lettering.

The UFO's stayed for approximately fifteen to twenty minutes and then left in a very strange manner. Hovering in a stacked formation two on top and two on the bottom. Then the two on the bottom separated and rose above the two on top. This process was repeated over and over until we could no longer see them. Then we heard them leave in a southerly direction toward Whiteman Air Force Base.

This event was fodder for discussions and swearing on our part that UFO's did exist. But, as the years went by, I began to wonder why the Air Force allowed these aircraft to linger so long over a top-secret military installation. It did not make sense. If these were UFO's why didn't the Air Force come to check them out, run them off, or even more spectacular, shoot them out of the sky? I never knew the answer, so for years I told my UFO story to believers and skeptics alike.

Recently, however, I found the answer on the internet. These were not UFO's. They were experimental aircraft used by S.A.C. and they were equipped with jet engines. I found pictures of them residing in hangers. The Air Force ended this program in 1967 and the aircraft were retired.

Humor is always linked to comedy. It is generally recognized as something acceptable to, and enjoyed by everyone, no matter what his or her age. Learning to smile is one of the first recognizable displayed characteristics of newborn babies. The rhythmic expulsion of air from the lungs is recognized as laughter in a matter of weeks following the birth, and is a primitive form of basic communication. Mother Nature has already equipped young babies with a powerful tool they can use to good advantage as a key factor in human bonding, the building of special relationships and social cohesion in the years that follow.

If asked, most people would state they had a good sense of humor. Used for professional entertainment it becomes an art, whether it is for business or pleasure. It requires careful planning and skilful delivery. I have learned from experience that such skills can be taught and then must be regularly practiced by those interested in becoming comedians.

Humor is totally subjective, always provoking, and generates different reactions from different people. Effective comedians are few and far between partly because what is funny to one person is not funny to another. The large majority of an audience must quickly consider they have some kind of rapport with a comedian. The best comedians are considered to be intellectual observers of human activity. They are philosophical spectators of the humorous anomalies found in life.

Making others laugh is a masterful skill that can change lives. People who can get others laughing are usually seen as being charismatic and are usually highly admired in society. Humor also takes a key part in the act of attraction. In many cultures giggling is often a sign of a secret sexual tension expressed by both men and women. You're giggling aren't you?

Humor makes uncomfortable situations more comfortable. It allows individuals to laugh no matter how grim living gets. It is such a nice feeling people will pay money to others to make them laugh. It is cathartic; it encourages an individual to purge their problems and painful emotions through the joy of laughter.

Study top comedians and you will soon realize that those skilled in delivering humor are great storytellers. Comedy is often based upon conflicting drama thrown up in life. It is not funny having to be funny. You need to be seriously funny to impress others. It is no joke. I mean that seriously.

Comedy and wit have little to do with an ability to tell jokes, or gags as they are sometimes referred to. People who 'tell jokes' are often seen as boring individuals with little sense of humor. They often begin their comedy routine with words along the line of 'Have you heard the one about"? True comedy is the practically enacted theory of the absurdities so often found in human relationships.

Experienced comedians are not afraid to laugh at themselves because humor is a universal human activity that allows the comedian to become a philosophical spectator of his own life in relation to those around him. Popular topics often revolve around the boss, their children and/or their partner or spouse.

As a professional speaker I have two roles. As an after-dinner speaker my sole purpose is to entertain the audience. As a keynote, motivational presenter I become a serious speaker seeking to help my audience remember important messages by using humor as a powerful tool. I have learned from experience that even the most focussed of audiences have an attention span of less than seven minutes. By injecting humor into my talks I help my audience stay alert and absorb important material.

Laughter is the best medicine. Unless of course you are asthmatic when inhaled steroids are likely to come highest on your list. Which is why I am so popular with healthcare professionals. As the saying goes 'Physician heal thy self' this is exactly what I am helping to facilitate when I make my medical audiences laugh.

Laughter is a physiological response to a trigger I activate in the audience. Members of the medical profession are no different to anyone else. They regularly feel anxiety, stress and even anger. By making them laugh I pull on a laughter trigger that releases endorphins, which in turn, counteracts the unpleasantness they may be feeling at that moment in time. Furthermore, happy people feel good to be around. Patients can feel so much better simply by being around healthcare professionals who appear happy. Everyone hates a 'doctor death' character who always look as if they are about to give out bad news.

Laughter in the workplace is important too for the boosting of staff morale and for the increase in productivity that usually follows. A happy staff is a productive staff.

During the talks I give around the world I often use examples of humorous real-life examples from my own family relationships to illustrate the principles of human awareness. Looking at an audience I can usually tell those going through a difficult relationship. They are the miserable looking individuals who work so hard trying not to even smile when those around them are struggling to stem a flow of uncontrollable laughter. I always work on the principle 'you can't please all of the people all of the time'. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Or was it Bob Dylan?

In conclusion ~ humor is a fundamental basic in the art of effective public speaking. It can make the difference between a great talk with an enthusiastic audience and a disastrous monotonous monologue.

About the author ~ Top business meetings speaker John Bell uses comedy to motivate and inspire audiences world-wide. He has been speaking professionally for over 25 years and is a former stand-up comedian and stage hypnotist. Not only is he extremely funny he is a Master of Education and knows that by entertaining delegates he assists in their retention of important information associated with the conference, convention or seminar.

John is also extremely popular as an after dinner-speaker and has a unique style of delivery in that he often allows the audience to chose the topics of his talks. Only the most experienced of speakers, at the top of their profession, would have the courage, confidence and capability to adopt such a style.

Even though I am a writer in the twenty first century with a laptop and Microsoft Word and all the other gadgets and geegaws I still sit down with a blank piece of paper and a pen or pencil when an idea is starting to form in my head. I guess it's conditioning from all those years in school when I was sitting behind a desk trying to express myself with a pen or pencil. I can still picture the scene, thirty kids leaning over their desks, straining to form those letters with big fat pencils clutched in their hands, and a few of them even let the tip of their tongues slip out the corner of their mouths, the ultimate sign of concentration.

Anyone who grew up in the United States and went to school here will probably remember those big fat pencils we used to get when we started our academic careers. I sometimes wonder about that. Our hands were very little so they gave us bigger pencils. Hmmmm. It doesn't really make sense, but somehow it works and really does make writing easier. Now that we are adults we write with skinny pencils clamped in our larger hands.

As I get older and arthritis sets in, I enjoy the fat pens they are making now. Apparently someone who designs pens has been paying attention and remembered those fat pencils from his or her early school days. They really were easier to hold, so why not just make all pencils fat?

We didn't realize it back then, but as trying as our learning experiences were in grade school, they were nothing compared to what we would face later in life. I have days now when I am hunched over my desk, the tip of my tongue straining to get past my lips, clutching my pen or pencil and trying to scratch out something that will sell. There are other days when I don't get to write because life has thrown another pop quiz at me. Sometimes when life is really zinging me with one fast one after another whizzing over the plate, I think back to those early school days and wish just once I could go back and have another of those fat pencil days.

Since time is linear in this domain, and we can't go back, I do the next best thing, when it turns out to be "one of those days," when just hanging on is hard to do, I ask life to give me a fat pencil.

Wil Langford, R. Hy., is a 54 yr. old. Clinical Hypnotherapist, Integrated Energy Therapist, spiritual guide, author, and teacher. His many experiences with psychic phenomena, and mystical experiences led to a lifelong search for answers to the meaning of life. His experiences as a consciousness explorer looking deep into the human mind, tempered by his experiences as a father and therapist have helped to shape his view of the world and the meaning of life. His book, Your Loved Ones, Your Self; Finding and Raising the Family Within" may change your life and you will never look at the world or the people in it the same way again.

Today I decided to have a moment of spontaneity with my toddler, which is unusual for me to engage in things I can't spell. Usually I like my spontaneous moments to occur on weekends - not during those precious work hours when I could be sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. But when Junior asked me for the 147th time if he could do bubbles, I stopped typing, looked up, and much to his surprise and mine said yes, and we ran outside before I could change my mind.

No coats. No shoes. No sunscreen. We just ran out into the glorious sunshine and, despite that moment where I tripped down the stairs, it was like a scene right out of a movie. Until we started arguing over the bubbles - who was going to hold the jar - who was going to blow - who would get to eat the half-eaten candy bar we found on the ground. And what started as a sweet mommy-and-me project of love and togetherness that belonged on the cover of Good Mommy Magazine, quickly spiraled into a devil-mommy-spanks-kid-in-the-front-yard moment that belonged on the cover of Moms Who Shouldn't Be Magazine. So much for my sweet-lady-next-door image which, according to my husband, disappeared a long time ago somewhere between the time I threw a pot roast at him as he ran to his car and the time I accidentally posted my labor pictures on MySpace.

And so our bubble blowing fiasco ended as quickly as it had begun when Junior spilled the entire bottle of bubble liquid on the ground which left us with nothing to do but just sit - at least that was my plan - to lounge under the oak tree while he lay his head on my lap and I read him excerpts from articles I had written. His plan was to sprint down the driveway and collide into the car in rapid succession (yeah, I'm thinking trade school), see which bricks on the side of the house were loose, dig for worms, and lick bark - all of which he found great delight in while my rear end lost feeling on the cold cement porch, my eyes itched, the wind kept blowing my hair into my lip gloss, I got a bug in my teeth, I was reminded of everything in the yard that needs to be done, and I swear I could hear the whisper of missed opportunities on the breeze. Then the rabid squirrel jumped out of a bush and sent both of us running into the house in a fit of hysterics. I probably shouldn't have pushed Junior down on my way to the front porch.

We were both sticky with bubble juice and had to break routine and take a bath in the afternoon (no, not together, they won't let me do that anymore) and I was so worn out that I crawled into bed with him at naptime - the rest of my work day ruined. No emails answered, no phone calls returned. And as he was curled up against me, his hair still wet from his bath, his arm thrown around my neck, he whispers, "That was fun Mommy" and fell asleep. And my heart great three sizes that day. And somehow I knew that even in my wrong way, I had done the right thing - that years down the road I wouldn't remember the lost hours of work. I would remember him laughing and running in his bare feet. Before he stubbed his toe on that rock.

You probably don't have a toddler. You probably don't work from home. But I'd bet you, like me, miss some of the precious spontaneous opportunities to jump up and go blow some bubbles. Let's don't do that anymore. Okay?

This is my Wifes Take on What happened that faithful day when everything went wrong!

My day started out as any other day, woke up at 4am, made the coffee, let the dogs out, turned my computer on to read my emails and get any remaining paperwork done before I headed out the door to show properties in the Tampa Real Estate market to a client. Okay so far... I grab my cup of coffee, let the dogs in and read my emails. At 9am I start making my calls to confirm appointments for my showings for the day. This is my first frustration; agents don't return calls, don't acknowledge receipt of emails and faxes - this another topic for another day, I want to stick to my story here.

I finish up all the daily stuff and head out the door to meet my client at the first property, which was a Tampa Foreclosures Property, which I still don't know if we can get into. On my way I call the agent again and find out that she has not spoken to the tenant to let us in. I call my client to meet me at the second property. So I get to this house twenty minutes early and client is a little behind so I sit with the a/c on and make more calls...

Once my client arrives I turn off my car and head to the door, which begins the whole reason I am here writing this today. It is suppose to have an electronic lock box; it doesn't. First call gets me the code to get in, good. My client walks it and likes it. We go out to our cars and mine won't start, battery is dead. My client is really sweet and he takes it upon himself to help me out. Between the two of us we don't have cables so he walks over to the neighbors and gets him to help us. We talk a bit about the neighborhood while we are charging my battery, the car starts up and he tells me I shouldn't turn the car off until I get to the nearest garage to get it serviced because there is an issue with the cable. I have two more properties to show so I tell my client we will continue on and I just won't turn my car off.

Are you with me so far? Hang in there to the end, I promise it is well worth the read! On to the second house which is approximately twenty minutes away, and again no lock box, so another call to the agent, got the key and I stood outside monitoring my car (it's running remember), my client comes out and isn't interested in this one. On to the last property, another twenty minutes away and ...

You almost know where this is going, but it isn't a lock box this time, it's my phone! It didn't update, it took six tries to get my phone to sync, but I keep on it and finally I get it to work and my reward is the key! This house has an alarm set and I have to get to the box. I don't recall the agent telling me the location of the alarm... I'm running around looking for the stupid thing, find it and then I press a wrong number!!!! The alarm sounds off until I get the right code in. I am trying to stay focused on the task at hand and make this look like this is normal everyday stuff so my client doesn't think I am a total idiot, which I myself am beginning to think! I return to the front porch where my client is patiently waiting for me, as I tell him the coast is clear the next door neighbor is in his truck yelling something at me about some tree branches that are hanging over the fence into his property and to get my homeowner to take care of it. I politely smile and tell him I will pass his request on to the listing agent and send him on his merry little way.

My client goes inside while I stand by my running car, he comes out and we talk a moment before I return inside to arm the alarm and lock up. Back out to my car and my client wants to write up a contract on this one. We make arrangements to get together later once I get my car fixed and off he goes. I know what you're thinking; all the difficulties to get to the contract is worth what I have gone through. Hold on, I'm not done yet. I get back into my car, notice the gas tank is almost on empty, go figure! I plug the next location into the GPS and get on my phone to call the listing agent, let her know about the alarm, the neighbor, and my client wants the property. I'm hoping I can get to my office on what little gas is left, call my husband and let him know I'm on my way and about the battery/ gas situation and hang up. My client calls to make sure I'm okay, I assure him I'm fine. I'm turning the corner and hit a pothole... I hear this flapping noise and the steering wheel is pulling to the right. Are you kidding me!! I pull off in the nearest parking lot and sure enough, a flat tire! I call my husband to let him know and by this time I am thinking I deserve a good cry or something, but I keep my cool and laugh while my husband lectures me about my driving. Note here: I believe I'm a better driver than my husband and I didn't purposely hit that pothole to get a flat. My husband arrives, changes the tire and we get back to the office to finish up for the day, tell some of the other agents our story and laugh.

You think this is the end of our day don't you? As we leave the office we decide we will switch vehicles, I am happy to do this, and as I pull out of the drive onto the busy street I get as far as the other side to make a turn, and the car dies! As well as my phone is dead! My husband doesn't understand what the heck is going on with me and goes around to come back to where I am. He gets out of the car and comes over to me and discovers I am out of gas... He goes back to his car (he turned it off, bad move I'm thinking) and it doesn't start; he is out of gas...

Once we got home I had received this email:

EPHESIANS 3:20

Concentrate on the first sentence.....

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Something good will happen to you today. Something that you have been waiting to hear.

If I hadn't lived through this day and I had read about it as you are doing right now, I wouldn't believe it! I have witnesses who can attest to my story and who will go on to tell it again and again and laugh at my expense. That's okay, I got the contract!

A science test was conducted on adults in different countries.
The citizens were asked a simple questions: "How much is 10 x 100 grams?"
These are the results:

1) 90% of the USA citizens responded that apart from cheese and wine,
they were not interested in French "inventions".

2) 52% of the UK citizens responded that they did not want to change their
treasured British Imperial system.

3) 30% of the South African in Cape Town responded that science was
always a difficult subject for them; they customarily were buying only
1 x 100 g or 2 x 100 g of a Hungarian salami.

4) 90% of the French citizens answered that a such test was outdated
and should had been administered during a Bonaparte time.

5) 97% Germans responded promptly: "1 kilogram".

6) 80% of Indians responded that the problem was simple as the three
zeros at the end of a number could be replaced by prefix "kilo", therefore,1000 g equaled 1 kilogram.

7) However, 67% of Polish and Russians answered: "1 litre"!

Conclusions:

Re 1) With One exception, they are too complacent...

Re 2) Hmm, tradition...tradition...

Re 3) The country will need technicians in a short future...

Re 4) They know how to live...

Re 5) They are the best, obviously...

Re 6) "See how they run". Forward, of course...

Re 7) They should drink less vodka !

NB: In Polish restaurants, vodka is ordered in grams.

The moral:

Proliferation of weapons of mass destruction is
strongly forbidden for the calamity of all people, for all time.
Dissemination of SI/metric system is strongly
recommended "for the benefit of all people, for all time"
(the French Assembly, June 1799).

When I finished my drivers test last week, I was welcomed aboard as a new full time driver for Lisa Motor Lines and given a choice: if I wanted to start trucking that very afternoon I could have an International tractor right there in the yard in Fort Worth. If I didn't want to drive the International (and who does?) I could have an older, five years, Freightliner tractor...

...but...

...The Freightliner was in Tampa, Florida, another reason to opt for the Freightliner. March in Florida, how bad could that be? I'd have to go to Tampa to retrieve the truck...

...but (and this was the really BIG BUT!)...

...Lisa would only send me to Florida by bus, a Greyhound, thirty hours from downtown Fort Worth to Tampa. The bus left at 6:00 a.m. the following morning and, God willing, would arrive in the Sunshine State around noon the following day. I hadn't been on a cross-country bus since I was a kid. It might be kind of fun in a weird sort of a way, I thought. Besides, what could possibly go wrong?

I presented myself with all my gear (a lot of it) at the Greyhound station in downtown Fort Worth at 5:45 a.m. and was immediately assailed by the driver, a big man who threw his considerable weight around like a wrecking ball. He would not answer any questions from passengers, shouted orders like a drill sergeant and cussed and griped under his breath the rest of the time.

He yelled orders; passengers had to line up inside the terminal behind a specific door (we were all standing outside at the bus door). When a woman asked him to repeat the door number he dismissed her. "I already said the door number and I ain't going to repeat it. You better learn to listen better." He walked off. Later as we were boarding, a young man stepped out of line to throw a piece of paper in a nearby trashcan, the driver yelled, "Hey! When I say 'all aboard' I mean get on the bus! Don't you get out of line again or I'll leave you here!"

This bullying of the passengers continued all the way from Fort Worth to Dallas (what, a half an hour?), but I was so furious by the time I arrived at the Dallas terminal I was ready to chew through anything that got in my way. I found the station supervisor. "You need to fire that driver! You need to fire him off this job right now! He's the meanest son-of-a-bitch I've ever met!" The words spilled out of my mouth like too-hot soup, but it was obvious this was not news to the supervisor who just turned and sauntered away.

The attitude of all the Greyhound employees I encountered, be they drivers, counter help or baggage handlers, was the same. Their sarcasm, condescending attitudes and aloofness were unconscionable! The drivers had all the warmth of vengeful prison guards. When a black woman, just as angry as me, deigned to ask still one more question, the driver retreated to an almost identical tirade about. "I already said it once, I ain't going to say it again...," like he had memorized it out of the company handbook, doubtless the very short chapter on Customer Service. But this brave woman wasn't taking any more lip from the driver. "When I want a lecture I'll call my mama!" she yelled back, overpowering the driver. "What I want from you is a civil answer to a simple question!" I joined in the applause the woman had earned. The driver was not moved.

The problem facing Greyhound is not merely one of escalating fuel prices, expensive equipment in poor condition and spotty passenger counts, but one of attitude and if it's true that 'manure' roles down hill, Greyhound's front line employees are standing in the cesspool created by distant, insensitive and uncaring management. The bad eggs need to be rooted out and fired. If there are any employees left after that house cleaning, they need to know that they're going to be next ones thrown 'under-the-bus' if customer service doesn't improve.

The ride was interesting. The bus was sort of clean, kind of like a football stadium right after a big game. It ran well when it was running (it quit three times, once in traffic and the police had to come and stop cars while the driver [a different but equally rude one] rummaged around in the engine compartment).

The day wore on into night and the array of odd passengers made the trip surreal. It was just as weird to see a well dressed, refined woman with coiffed hair and stylish clothes, as it was to see the grizzled old man in three different plaid pajama pieces, a bathrobe, slippers and a cowboy hat.

But in the hours when you can only see another passenger in the headlights of a passing car or truck, everybody looks weird. At that hour of the night we are all refugees, monsters who don't know, don't want to know, or don't want anyone else to know where we are. It's a grim parade with vampire overtones, one that kept us all from restful sleep.

Tampa came into view as the sun was hovering over the bay in the western sky. Only six hours late - not bad, I was told. I didn't make any lasting acquaintances, you don't on a trip like that, only momentary relationships that serve to wile away the daylight hours or to keep the monsters - the other monsters in the night - at bay.

But unlike our Greyhound drivers, when the sun came up, we passengers turned back into human beings.

In case you missed Google's April Fool's Day fun, don't worry. They'll get you again--they always do.

This year's hoax--Project Virgle--offered space buffs the chance to join the first human colony on Mars (2014) and featured an online application, a "test of pioneering potential," and a map of the planned landing site along with convincing burble about the red planet's "mineral goodies that . . . will form a solid foundation for agricultural self-sufficiency and the building of an advanced industrial society."

YouTube messages from Google founders (and pranksters) Sergei and Larry along with Richard Branson of Virgin (hence, Virgle) capped the hoax.

Hoaxes and urban legends are not only hilarious--they're great thinking opportunities for the whole family. You can help to hoax-proof your kids with the SNIFF test. Before you commit to believing, run through this checklist:

Sounds too good (dumb, sweet, exciting, scary) to be true? It probably is.

Never heard anything like it? Then wonder why. The unique capacity of Virgle to establish a Mars colony by 2014 is a good example!

Images look enhanced? Well, they might be. Or totally fake.

Feeling titillated, weird, or otherwise manipulated? Watch out!

Finding no corroborating evidence? Then something stinks.

Now that you're a SNIFF expert, why not talk about some famous hoaxes and urban legends with your kids? Encourage them to ask questions and respond to ideas by hoaxers and debunkers alike. Which ideas sound most reasonable to them? Why?

Start by looking on All About, Snopes, and Bad Astronony for material to discuss. You'll be surprised at the number of science and geography connections. Example: The Great Wall of China is not only NOT visible from the moon, it isn't even visible from low orbit (about 180 miles up) because it blends so well in with the surrounding topography! If you homeschool, you could do a whole unit on urban legends as a genre. Teens may enjoy discussing the psychology of urban legends. Why are people are so ready to believe, anyway?

Maybe you can still remember the shivery feeling you had upon hearing your first urban legend. Neat feeling, I know. But it sure doesn't beat pouncing on an e-mail and thinking, "Naaah."