A Friendly Note to All My e-Mail Correspondents Listen Up! I'm Just Going to Say this Once.

Hey, call me an old curmudgeon (and many do!), but I'm through pussy-footing around with some of my e-mail correspondents. I've just about had it and I'm not going to take it anymore! So, all you e-mail correspondents of mine, listen up, because I am only going to say this once! I've got a few "bones" to pick with you and, by golly, I'm going to pick them. Now. Right here. You're not going to be able to stop me!

Some of you-and you certainly know who you are, so don't try to say you don't!-seem to find it necessary to consistently irritate me with what I will charitably characterize as your e-mail "quirks." (Actually, I would prefer to use another word here, but I am going to try and keep this note "G-rated.") What am I talking about? Let's get started!

My 'Forward' Correspondents

You know those cute little "sayings," "poems," "inspirational" messages, ad nauseam, that some of you have received from friends and family and have seen fit to "forward" to me, asking me to also forward them to my friends and family? How can I say this? How can I delicately state my true feelings about these "communications"? Stop sending me these! I hate this *#$@! Stop it! Now! No more! (Oh, and don't think I'm moved in the least by your implied threats of something "bad" happening to me if I don't also "forward" these messages. Something "bad" already happens to me the instant I receive these e-mails from you!)

Thank you!

OK, now moving on.

My 'Capital' Correspondents

The use of capital letters is indeed very helpful to a reader of your e-mails, and I especially thank you for taking the time to use them in e-mails you send to me. Among other things, it helps me to know a.) where the beginning of a sentence is; and/or b.) it alerts me that you are using a proper noun, i.e., an important person, place of thing, instead of just an old, commonplace noun. But, come on, can you get out of the habit of USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS THROUGHOUT YOUR E-MAIL?! Do you have any idea how irritating that is to the reader? Particularly this reader?! Get a life and STOP doing this!

Thank you.

My 'Small' Correspondents

The flip side of the CAPITAL correspondents are those of you who use small letters (usually with no punctuation whatsoever!) throughout your e-mail. Hey, it was cute when poet e.e. cummings introduced this "revolutionary" technique about two hundred years or so ago. Today? Not quite so cute. So can you please refrain from this practice?

Thank you.

My 'ADD' Correspondents

I know, I know. Many of you are getting "a little long in the tooth," and are finding it harder and harder to focus and concentrate these days. But, hey, is it possible for you to at least pretend that you actually read (and understood!) the e-mail I send you and to which (theoretically, at least) you are now responding? I don't mean to hurt your feelings, particularly if you actually are exhibiting early onset symptoms of Alzheimer's, but you're beginning to remind me an awful lot of my friend George. You probably have friends like George, too. You know, the person who is not listening to one word that comes out of your mouth when you're having a "conversation" with him. Instead, he is focused entirely on what he is going to say next! Frustrating! Irritating! Maddening!

In a nutshell, then, all I am asking is this: If I ask you a question (or two or more!) in my e-mail to you, would you please humor me by actually addressing and answering the question(s) in your e-mail response to me?

Thank you.

My 'Celebrity' Correspondents

I am a "news junkie," and as such, I read a LOT of newspapers and editorial columns both online and offline each and every day. I particularly like to read the editorials, and of course, I have my "favorites," who, for obvious reasons, shall go unnamed here. So, whenever I read something I particularly like, by someone whose writing or viewpoint I particularly admire, I usually take the time to e-mail the reporter or editorial writer and tell them so. Do I ever get a response of any kind? Surely you jest! Not even an "auto response" acknowledgment. Sad.

Now, I am fully aware that some of you view yourselves as "celebrities," and maybe you are, at least in the sense that the term is so loosely defined in today's society. Maybe you honestly believe that you simply can't be bothered to acknowledge, in any way shape, form or fashion, us, "the little people," who actually read what you write and care enough to comment upon it.

And you wonder why the number of newspaper subscribers/readers continues to trend downward, year after year after year.

Can you at least set up some type of "auto response" to let your readers who respond to you know that their comments were actually received? You are writing something for people to actually read, aren't you? I hope so.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Garee

When we listen to the media in China, they keep telling us that the recession is over and they've had over 6% growth rate this year in their GDP. Personally, I don't believe it, I believe it to be more like 4.25% by my calculations, and I'm quite worried about the fact that they are giving too many loans, and thus see a problem with their economy overheating, and inflationary risks with the Yuan.

Nevertheless, there are many people, such as the famous investor Jim Rogers, who coincidentally wrote the book "A Bull in China; Investing Profitably in the World's Greatest Market," and "Investment Biker; on the Road with Jim Rogers," who believe that the Chinese economy will continue to grow and eventually surpass that of the United States of America, which as you know, our GDP is at around $17 trillion per year as soon as the market returns.

It may not be until 2035 or 2040 until China catches us in GDP, as we are also slowly expanding, well provided everything goes right for them. It is for this reason that I need to learn Chinese, and it makes sense that anyone who plans on doing business in that country learn the language. Unfortunately, there is also a new language that our teenagers are speaking, and these millennials are starting to enter the workforce. The characters of their new language are just is frightening as learning 45,000 Chinese symbols.

The new language that our teens and millennials are using is called; "Texting" and the best way to learn is by doing it; meaning that you have to spend hours each day sending text messages, meaningless gibberish to all of your friends to learn it correctly. Once you do this, you are cool enough to do business with the teens and millennials who claim that they are one of the greatest up-and-coming demographics. We will see, but first it's time to start learning this new language. Please consider this.

Lance Winslow is a retired Founder of a Nationwide Franchise Chain, and now runs the Online Think Tank. Lance Winslow believes you should learn texting and how to make phone calls on the internet too; ip pbx



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lance_Winslow

Laughter, it has been said, is the best medicine. This is literally true. Study after study has shown that laughter not only eases pain and suffering, but it actually helps the healing process by reducing blood pressure and releasing stress. Pranks are even better than jokes at getting a laugh. A joke is only funny once, but humorous shenanigans can get rooms full of people howling many years later as they are recounted.

For this reason, I fall squarely on the side of pranks in the hot debate over whether they are superior to jokes. Congress should really settle this issue once and for all by passing legislation declaring fun-filled tricks as the optimal catalyst of laughter and thus healing. They could call it the "Heal America Happily Act" or HAHA for short. When some joker challenged HAHA in court, I am sure that pranksters across this great land would rise up with one inspiring voice to solicit donations. These monies would hire the finest team of attorneys the world has ever seen -- or at least the best since O.J. Simpson's first trial -- to defend pranking and its advocates all the way to the Supreme Court.

When the case of Joe Kerr vs. The United States is won by the People, the issue will be settled once and for all: America is a land where jokes are OK but pranks are awesome. We revere those who fool others because they create generations worth of yuks in one single, well executed maneuver. Any joker can nail a punchline. It takes a true genius to fool someone right to the point of freaking out, then relieve them by letting them know that they have been punked.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chuck_Linart

You're about to leave for a special event, and your spouse is clawing through her closet crying "I don't have anything to wear!" Now you know full well that there's enough fabric in that closet to resurface Central Park, so what do you do? You want to sympathize with her, but the old Visa card just can't take another hit. Here is the universal solution to this problem, and once deployed, will guarantee that you'll never have to endure a similar complaint again: start wearing uniforms.

"Think of the advantages, honey," you announce, "we won't spend another second deciding what to wear in the morning!" This idea didn't originate with me; the military has been using it from the beginning of time. Private schools do it, and even some corporations. So why not a "family uniform"?

I actually know a very brilliant fellow who did this many years ago (I'll have to check if he's continued this habit as he's remarried now). All you do is find a neural color combination that you'll be happy with, choose a style of top (button-shirt, t-shirt, or golf shirt) and you buy several copies of them.

Once you have them hanging in your closet, then the dilemma of what to wear magically disappears. Just think of it, strolling through the mall will never include gawking and pining over those new arrivals. And in time, you'll stop caring what the neighbors think about your new attire.

Will I ever start wearing a uniform? Not as long as my family has any say in it, but it's a great comeback for those constant clothing complaints. This is the problem with being a practical and objective person, my only hope is that my spouse never questions me about my need for a new computer every two years or so... but that's different, right?


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Rodda