Paul was a passionate chess player. He was reading a lot of chess books and analyzed his own games at home, which he had played in the chess club before. He hoped to improve his game by learning new chess strategies.

One day he was again deeply immersed mentally in a chess position, which originated from a club game.

Suddenly somebody knocked at his door. He did not expect any visitors, went slowly to the door and opened it.

In front of him stood a woman of a religious sect. He saw that right away as she had a bible in her hands and looked at him a bit strange. Then the woman asked him. "Brother! Are you saved?"

The chess player has been deeply immersed in thought and was shocked at first, but recovered fairly fast and said with a glorified smile.

"Oh, yes, oh, for sure, of course I am saved!" Paul answered. "I wanted to castle one move later, but my opponent had a surprising move. His knight hit f7 and attacked my queen and the rook at the same time. I lost the exchange and a pawn after that and thought that I was lost. But after that, my opponent played too risky, made a mistake and blundered away his rook. The game finally was a draw and I was saved. It was like a miracle! Yes! I was saved!"



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norbert_Thomas

I think not. Then why is picking your nose so frowned upon?

Through my research, I have found that Kleenex was invented in 1926 and the handkerchief was invented sometime between 1384 and 1386. Prior to this how did one remove foreign objects from their noses? My guess would be with the most logical method they could conceive..... putting their finger up it. Everyone (yes, women included) that had a booger boulder would spasmodically excavate their nose with no shame whatsoever. I say pick away!

The only thing cooler than picking your nose is a snot missile. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, allow me to elaborate. A snot missile is accomplished by holding your finger, or preferably the knuckle of your index finger, as it looks cooler, to close one nostril and blowing as hard as you can through your nose to remove the object/objects from the other nostril. This is not only OK to do in public but my preferred method of mucus extraction. If you find yourself with a woman you are wanting to impress, plug a nostril and huff away because nothing screams "I'm a manly man!" like a snot missile.

Another point I should cover is that this can be played as a game if you are out with friends. The rules are simple. You alternate turns shooting snot missiles at unsuspecting targets. The scoring is as follows:

5 points for hitting other men. Men are only worth five points because they are the easiest targets, they won't be too grossed out by your lewd behavior, and unless they are a confrere in snot bombing, they will bow down to your exhibition of pure masculinity and superiority

10 points for hitting children. Children are worth a small amount of points because of their lack of ability to do anything about the incident. They only score higher then men because they are smaller and therefore harder to hit.

25 points for women. Now we are getting into some serious points. Women are worth twenty five points because their chance of being pissed off by being hit with your crude ammunition is pretty good and the risk of being beaten with a purse is great.

75 points for infants in a car seat or stroller. This is the big leagues now! I know you are thinking "Why so much? A child can't fight back.", but can you imagine how wrathful the mother will become? This should only be attempted by very agile people as the chance of a foot race is great.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=JD_Simpkins

Since you don't believe that fun exists when you're depressed, what you need to do is have negative depression. So you try your hardest to get more depressed, and then you fail, and get happier instead. Negative failure is a good thing; the two negatives cancel out!

Looking in the mirror can be a death knell for depression. That woeful, sad face you see looks so ridiculous that bursting out laughing is totally unavoidable. If you wanna stay depressed, stay away from mirrors!

Anyway, there are lots of fun activities for the depressed person to enjoy. Especially in this financially depressed economic situation we find ourselves in at the moment.

Get all your bills that you can't pay, and make paper aeroplanes from them. Then the one that flies furthest is the one that gets paid first.

Read the telephone directory. Some of the wierd surnames in there are bound to cheer you up!

Catch a cockroach and put it in a glass jar. Study it. Then be grateful you don't look like him. If you do look like him, then go look in the mirror and have a good laugh.

Write all your worries on a big piece of paper. Then have fun burning it in the fireplace. Maybe they'll go away! If you can't bring yourself to set it alight, then you are too attached to your worries!

Have a staring competition with the wall. The wall normally blinks first...

Tell your cat about your tough, unfair life. They normally fall asleep, so hold a cat treat up where they can see it to improve their attention span.

If it's foggy, freezing cold and drizzling... uh, well, that's a tough one. Maybe just stay depressed until one of those three clears up, then you can say "It could be worse!"

If you live in Zimbabwe, you can play monopoly with real money, and the kids can keep it at the end of the game. Or you could wallpaper your rooms with million dollar notes, which is cheaper than buying wallpaper!

If you've lost your job, imagine that you've got a free holiday from that horrible boss of yours. And remember that you are not alone - there's 52 million others like you, and counting.

If you're really sad, sprinkle some paint powder, all different colours, onto a large sheet of paper, and then cry over it. The tears will drop randomly and start creating an impressionist masterpiece, which you can later sell for a fortune. Trying to wipe up the tears gives an even better, messier effect. This is called the "depressionist genre" of painting.

Sit in a busy place and see how many sad faces you can spot. Some of them should be quite impressive. Shame, so many people have huge problems. Anyway, it'll probably help you to feel better! If you get to 100, treat yourself to a cup of coffee.

Launch a website called Misery makers, where you help people to get over their happiness, and help them to cope with bubbly, positive attitudes.

Watch the TV news. See how many people you can count that have worse problems than you.

Start your own blog. Start with an entry like this: "There's nothing in this blog because I didn't feel like writing anything. And if you post a comment here, I'm not going to read it." There's power in the internet!

So there you have it. Don't let depression be boring and tedious. Make it interesting. Have a load of fun! You may even look forward to being depressed!



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Duncan_Kelly

Isn't it absolutely fantastic that you can sit in the comfort of your own home, and wirelessly, from a foreign country many thousands of miles away, download within seconds a vicious virus that wipes your hard drive and puts up a message "Igor did rock..." on your screen. Ah yes, technology has brought us far.

No longer is there the long wait by your postbox, hoping for that letter from a loved one, or that check that's always in the mail. Now we have the blessing of getting 463 emails a day from kind people that we don't even know! And all they want to do is help us! We can enlarge parts of our bodies, get free money from Africa, become a doctor of physics without even studying, and become filthy rich just by watching one DVD which they will supply at a massive discount. Gracious, what nice people.

Even more amazing is the new fangled video phone calls, where the chap on the other side can see you while you are talking to him, on the other side of the world. And if you forget to cut the connection, an hour later the world can also see you kicking the dog while in your underwear. Isn't it fascinating how fast those type of video things get onto YouTube and the national news.

Now there's broadband too. It seems that this was invented in order to drain your bank account at a faster rate than the old dialup system. All you have to do is download the movie "Gone with the wind" and see how this title applies to your savings.

A nice thing to have is an "always on" connection. This connection is always on unless it's off. While it's on, it's always on, and when it's off, it's always off. Maybe they should have called it a "usually on and always slow" connection.

Facebook is a nice way to connect with old friends that you hoped you would never see again, and it also is an easy way to get your name and ID available to the Russian mafia. Apparently their interpretation of "Social Networking" is somewaht different to ours - our meaning was probably lost in translation. The IRS like it as well. Makes tracing defaulters nice and easy for them.

The search engines are strange things. Needed a little picture of a baby for a baby shower card the other day, so typed "babe" into Google and searched for images. The babes that appeared to answer this search burnt my eyebrows off and set the curtains on fire. Now after my fourth week of therapy I'm starting to feel a bit better.

There are lots of challenges when you have internet access. It really keeps the memory active, having to remember 49 passwords and usernames, with letters, numbers, funny symbols and so on. And when people write you a letter, they expect a reply today, so it keeps us active and productive. None of this waiting til Saturday business.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Duncan_Kelly